(parody)
Translated by Fact-Checker-Aliens:
SOTU - "WTF: Spending Our Future"
"We should have no illusions about the work to con America ahead of us. Reforming our teacher-union schools; wrecking the way we produce energy; bankrupting our country through ever increasing deficit – none of this is easy. All of it will take money, lots and lots of money. And it will be harder because some will argue about everything. People don't often just listen to the smartest man in the room, after all. Some people just don't get it. We must inflate the cost. We must hide the details. We must expand the scope of every law.
"Of course, some countries don’t have this problem. They simply have dictators. If the central government wants a railroad, they get a railroad – no matter how many homes are bulldozed. Just like we bulldozed through that Healthcare scam. With all the media sucking up to me, if I don’t want a bad story in the newspaper, it doesn’t get written.
"That dream is why I can stand here before you tonight. That dream is why someone who can't produce a bonafide birth certificate can be king -er- president. That dream is why someone who can believe in Saul Alinsky and Chicago politics can rule over all of you out there in the formerly greatest nation on Earth.
"That is why I tell you tonight that our road out is to continue Spending Our Future - like our very lives depended on it. Like the dreams of my non-American Kenyan Father said - 'It's not where you are going, it's how you're enjoying the ride.' And as I stand here today, I can say that I enjoy spending very, very much. So let's Spend Our Future like there's no tomorrow - because that's where this smart guy knows how you are going to get me re-elected. All my friends get some of this money we print."
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